The 3 to my 4.

I refer to my son as IV, here in this blog-o-sphere, but his name is Stewart. He's the fourth (IV). But he'd never be IV without the III. And that III, is my Husband, Stew.

Both III and IV are my world. But only a few short 10 months ago, it was just me and my III. Very cliche, but he's my best friend...whom I miss dearly.

I say that I miss him, my Husband, because things aren't the way they were once before, before our IV was born.

We both work full time jobs, I like to think that I work more than one...like 101, but who's keeping score? (I am) You see, Stew and I were just a bunch of DINKs, living our life of Captain and cokes, expensive dinners and/or lunches, free-spirted travelers, who often sat out on our back deck and talked - all night long. No cares, no responsibilities, no worries - except, who was going to get up to make us another drink.

Things are different now.

Those days are gone.

But that's ok. That's what we wanted and planned for. But for just one day - I wish I could go back to that hot summer night, when Stew and I were sitting on the back deck and tell him how much I love him. Why not do it now? Why would I have to go back to "those" days? Because I want that feeling back. That feeling of not beings stressed, tired or worried...just for one night.

Things are easier than they were months ago. I have adjusted to being a new Mom, working from home and balancing every day life. But that didn't come easy. It came with a price...and my relationship with Stew was put on the back burner.

We are and were such a good team. Like, Bonnie & Claude, Ozzie & Harriet, Pebbles & BamBam, Superman & Louis! We thought to ourselves - "This newborn shit is easy". We breezed through it like it was our job, well it was our job. All good? Yes! But we never took the time out for each other...to talk, to hug, to kiss. I was needed by so many people (my baby, my Husband, my boss, my clients, my co-workers, my friends, my family) in my daily life that I just need ME time. So once IV would go to bed at night...it was me, DVR and my iPhone. No talking about our days - just silence. And yes, it is still like that today. Sadly, once IV goes to bed, we sit in the living room, surf our Twitter, Facebook and blog pages - and we don't catch up.

So for IV's 10 month birthday, I'm giving a gift to us...to me. I'm back, we are back. So grab yourself a Captain & Coke, Bubba...we are going out on the back deck (figuratively speaking)

I love you, Stew. Thank you for being the III to my IV.

Summer 2009 - on the back deck.