I'm having anxiety. To be honest, it's not something "new". I've had it almost a month now. I think it's a mix between the calendar flipping to 2012 - in 2012, my baby turns a year old. That makes me slightly anxious for some reason. But the underlying cause of my extreme anxiety is that next weekend we are going to New Orleans - without IV. Eeep! I'm getting butterflies just typing this.
I'm looking forward to our trip to the Big Easy, but I'm not looking forward to leaving IV. Did I mention that it's not just for the weekend? It's for the loooong weekend. Our flight is Friday morning and I get back Monday night.
I feel horrible.
IV will be staying in the comforts of my parents home, where he has his OWN room! Yes...full on, his own room. Everything about it is similar to his own room here at home, from the blankets to the bath stuff...everything is the norm for him. He loves my parents and lights up every time he sees them. I know he won't have any problem being there with them. I however, I'm different. I'm going to have a very hard time. IV has been with me in one way or the other since August of 2010. That's a long time. We have never been apart for more than 24 hours.
I'm dying inside with guilt.
I worry that after a day or so he'll wonder where I am and think I left him for good. I know that is not the case...it's just how my crazy Mom brain works. I know that my parents are worried - not about taking care of IV for the long weekend, but they are worried about me. They know that I'm the type to get so upset that I'd land in New Orleans - turn around and get back on the plane to come home.
I'm going to be ok.
I'm going to get through it and enjoy myself and my time with Stew. I have to. What's the point of going to a city that I'll probably never go back to again and NOT enjoy my time? We have some tours set up, fancy dinners out and plan to watch the Pats in the SUPER BOWL at a cool bar.
It will be good for me.
I'll be able to FaceTime and Skype with IV and my parents - I'll send him plenty of pictures and love on him so much when I get home - he'll be sick of me.
But until then, I'm going to sit here with butterflies in my belly and tears in my eye. Hmph!
I know how you feel. It was a really weird feeling...my baby turning 1. Not a baby anymore! But this year, I'm actually excited for Braden to turn 2! It's exciting! We left Braden here at home with my mom for 3 nights just after he turned 1 so we could go to Vegas. I'm not saying it wasn't hard...it was. But we REALLY enjoyed our time together and NEEDED it. It's so important, in my opinion, for our kids to grow up with parents who love each other and we need that "us" time to reconnect. We Skyped...me with tears in my eyes because I missed him, but we had so much fun and Braden had a great time with his Grandma. IV will have a wonderful time and your parents will spoil him rotten!!
ReplyDeleteENJOY, Allie! You deserve it!!
Just remember that a well-connected mommy and daddy are the very best thing for your little guy. It's so hard to get away, but so important to have that time with just your hubby! Try and enjoy it. I'm jealous!
ReplyDeleteTotally normal mama!! Slumping on the phones is a great idea because IV will be able to see and hear y'all!
ReplyDeleteYou're going I have fun! You and Stew need time too!
What are you doing in NOLA??? Let me know if you need any suggestions! The first time we left Thatcher I wanted to die and cry all at the same time, but enjoy it. When he gets closer to 1 year you will be begging for a weekend away if you're anything like me! It's hard but oh so healthy at the same time!
ReplyDeleteOh, I hope you have fun and don't dwell on missing him too much! I'm sure once you're out with the hubs, you'll be distracted well enough. And skyping is a great way to still stay connected.
ReplyDeleteHAVE FUN!!!!!!!
I feel you on this - my sister once offered to watch Carter for two nights instead of one and I was like oh no, I'd miss him too bad. But you're right - it'll be a blast, and he'll be in good hands (and probably spoiled to death!). And it'll be so fun to get away with Stew for some marriage time! :) :)
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